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  • Darci Daniels

Are you "tolerating" your life?

How often do you think, “there’s so much to look forward to!”? How often do you wake up and start your day, and think, “today could be the best day of my life!”? How often do you stop and express gratitude, and not just in your head, for your life and your purpose and your family and your job and whatever else fills your days?

If your answer is “all the time, I am relentlessly optimistic”, congratulations! You don’t need to read any further. But for those of us that struggle with this kind of thinking, your answers may have ranged from, “yeah, as-if” to “wow, that would be a good idea, but no, my brain doesn’t seem to work like that”. Does anyone’s? Yes, it does. So, if you feel this way, don’t assume everyone feels like you do and there’s no hope. There are people out there (and not just rich, seem-to-have-it-all people) that look at life with wonder and awe and can’t wait to see what happens next. You CAN have a happier life. You CAN be more positive. You CAN have more peace, less stress, and more joy. Yep, even in the upside-down world we live in today.


Good. So am I! I’m interested in what kind of mindset you have. I’m interested how you purposefully create your mindset, or if you even know that’s possible. I’m interested in whether you automatically let your thoughts, emotions, and reactions run your life, and if you feel exhausted all the time. I’m interested if you think of yourself as a positive person, but when you stop and think about it, you’re not actually happy and will complain to anyone who will listen. A lot. I’m interested whether you’re reacting to life as it happens to you or are trying to proactively plan and create your life but seem to get stuck easily. I’m interested if you love yourself but hate all the inept and stupid people around you. I’m interested in whether you love your life, or merely tolerate it, or actively hate it, and would like to find a better way.

Why am I interested? Because I want to help you, like I’ve been helped. I’ve been on a journey for over 10 years to love myself and my life more, and helping others do the same. That may sound a little too emotional for you – loving yourself? What does that have to do with anything? – but believe me when I say, it has everything to do with living a truly fulfilled and easier life.

Here’s something not too emotional/squishy that may speak to you – are you sick and tired of being stressed out all the time, living for the weekend and the next vacation, while trudging through your job M-F that is really more than 40 hours because you work hard and/or traffic and commuting suck?

Great! I’m interested in that too.

I worked in the corporate world for 20 years, almost to the day. I worked for 2 large banks in approximately 6 different jobs, and for that entire time I commuted Monday – Friday, either by bus or driving, no less than 30 minutes, and typically more like 50-90. I may not know your exact job or business, but I know what it’s like to be in a job you love, that seems to take all your time and energy; and I know what it’s like to be a in a job you tolerate for the money; and I know what it’s like to be in a job you hate, but you feel stuck and it feels impossible to walk away from the benefits and stability.

I get it. I've been there.

Here’s what I want you to hear: merely tolerating your job, or your life, or yourself, or your relationship, or your boss, or your family, or your friends, or your spouse, is not enough. It’s not a life. Hoping things become less painful, less stressful, or easier to manage “someday” is not a strategy for living. It’s a death-sentence you’ve given yourself, by not believing you’re worth more. Or not believing life can be better. Or not believing you have choices.

You always have choices. And you’re worth a lot more. And, believe it or not, life can be better. I promise.

I want to help you find your way back to yourself. I want you to get out of your own way to live the life you want. Don’t let this scare you – it may not be a complete overhaul of your life that’s needed. It may just be a few tweaks. I asked a client the other day when she was complaining about a couple of big things in her life to take some time and envision what she wanted her life to look like. These things that she was complaining about, how did they fit into the vision for her best life? Surprisingly, she realized her life looked almost exactly like she wanted it to. The 2 areas that she was complaining about just needed a few tweaks and some healthy boundaries.

Why didn’t this shock me? Because 99% of the satisfaction we do or don’t have with our lives is in our heads.

Read that again.

Almost everything starts and stops with our mindset. Being purposeful in how you train and use your mind is essential, especially if you’re not a naturally optimistic person, like me. I have worked hard over the last 10 years of my journey to change my self-talk. I have studied, read, taken training, classes, and even got my certification in coaching to help me figure out how to change my life for the better. It wasn’t until I found out I could change the way I talk to myself and I could choose better feeling thoughts which transformed my emotions, that I was able to really make big shifts in my life.

It sounds simple. It’s not.

I could not have done it alone. None of us can, not completely. This work requires an outside advisor to point out the deeply entrenched thoughts, patterns, and self-defeating (sometimes self-destructive) behaviors we have. I haven’t had the same person help me during my whole journey. I’ve had a lot of different teachers and coaches that have helped me on my way, and some of them don’t even know it. Some of them wrote incredible and thought provoking things. Some inspired via podcasts. Even people who hurt us are sometimes our best teachers. When that happens, we need a compassionate witness to be there for us. That could be your mom, best friend, or significant other… but sometimes they aren’t the best person for the job. They love you so much they hurt FOR you, and it’s hard for someone feeling their own pain on your behalf to be there for you in the way that you need. Depending on the situation, they may or may not be the best person to turn to.

In order to dig in and do your work to process your shit and figure out how to proactively train your mindset for the next time you interact with the person that hurt you though, they probably aren’t going to be able to do that.

Two of my closest friends are coaches. And they are GREAT coaches. They have worked with me through some serious processing and changes. However, they tend to be my friend, first. Which means often their first reaction is compassion, but then they want to go after the person that hurt me. However, when they go into coach mode, they understand the person hurting me the most is MYSELF. Because, thoughts. Our brains love to spin stories, and when we’re pissed off, or hurting, or annoyed, or upset in any way, our stories protect us. But our brains (and our loved ones) don’t often call us on our shit and help us heal and move forward.

That’s what I can do. As a mindset coach, I help you move through your toxic thoughts, your unhelpful stories, and your self-defeating habits and behaviors to get to a better place. And not just get to a better place, but to move forward from there in a more peaceful and kind way... to train your mindset and actually create a life you love living!

Sound interesting? Great! Let’s talk. Email me at for a free consultation. I’ve done this for myself, I’ve done this with my clients, and now I’d love the opportunity to help you, too.


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