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  • Darci Daniels

What's next?


PSA: Taco Bell does not have mojitos. And, you really need more than that anyway. Like a good guacamole.

What’s next?


We all ask ourselves this question at least once in our lives, if not multiple times. It may be when we graduate from high school, or college; it may be when we get laid off (or fired) from our first job; it may be when we get divorced; or it may be when we turn a certain age that, when we were younger, in our head was OLD but now that we’re here we don’t FEEL old and it seems like we’re supposed to have life figured out by now and we definitely don’t.


Or maybe all of those were just me. Except the fired from a job part.


I think all adults are pretending they know what they’re doing and how to do this thing called life seamlessly. None of us really knows, we’re all just guessing and trying. There’s a reason #adultingishard has over 200k posts on Instagram. We remember our parents at this age, or maybe even our grandparents, and we think WOW – if they knew what they were doing, why don’t I?


Hint: they didn’t know either.


So, when we get to a point in our lives where we ask “ok, so what’s next?” it’s not usually rhetorical. There may be a lot of different reasons for asking, but ultimately, we all have pretty much the same goal: to be happy, or something close to it. We are trying to figure out how to adult successfully, and how to be happy while trying. Happy and success can be loaded words and mean different things to different people. In my very unscientific-and-not-widespread research though, those are the 2 words that most people usually end up pointing to for what they want. A lot of other words get thrown around (and truth be told, these exact words aren’t in my top 10 things of what I want), however, nearly everything else boils down to this – we want to live a happy life and we want to do it well.


So, what’s next?


This is where I notice people get hung up. If there’s a point in life this question gets asked, and there’s not a clear answer that really sets your soul on fire, then confusion sets in. This is where people feel stuck, and don’t know why. Or they know exactly why, and aren’t happy, but are terrified to do anything about it. You hate your job but are afraid to quit. You aren’t happy in your relationship but are too scared to have a difficult conversation. You’re living in a town/state/country/climate you don’t like, but there are a million reasons you can’t move. You love your job but hate your boss. You love your boss but aren’t getting paid enough and your credit card debt is growing. Your kids are off to college and you look at your spouse and wonder who you’re married to, and come to think of it, what do you do with the rest of your life? Is this it?


What’s next?

I’m going to let you down a bit and tell you – I don’t have the answer. But I’ve got good news, because YOU have the answer. That may feel like total BS and right about now you’re irritated you’ve wasted your time reading to this point. Hang in there! I can help. A good coach can help you uncover what’s next. Between asking great questions and reading between the lines (with a good dash of intuition), I can help you get what you want. Here are a couple exercises to get you started:


1. When you hear this question in your head, stop. Take a deep breath. Then ask it again, out-loud and answer (again, out-loud) with the first thing that comes to your mind. It might be profound. It might be silly. It might be what you need to do in the next 30 minutes. It might be that you’re craving Taco Bell. Whatever it is, pay attention. There’s most likely some wisdom in it. Except for Taco Bell. Fast food is rarely a good idea.


2. Set aside some time, ideally when you first wake up, and ask yourself the question again. Now, write your answer. Don’t censor yourself, don’t think too hard, just write whatever comes to mind. It may not have anything to do with the question. That doesn’t matter, keep writing. Try to fill a notebook page. Let your mind go and just write. Do this for a few days and see what comes up. You may start to notice a pattern or be able to read between the lines for yourself.


If you want some help answering what’s next or trying to find the courage to implement the answer you’ve already found, email me. Sign up for my mailing list, read my blogs, read other people’s blogs, read some self-help books, watch some Oprah. I did all these things, plus therapy, and it wasn’t until I started Life Coach training and started getting coached that the fog began to lift. Truth be told, 3 months of being coached did more for me than a year of therapy had. I needed to figure stuff out and ACT on it, not just talk about it anymore. Then I hired my own coach, and that’s when the fun really began!


Whether you know what you want but aren’t sure how to get there, know what you want and know exactly how to get there but can’t seem to buckle down and do it, or still have no idea what you want, feel stuck, and are resenting the people in the first 2 categories right about now who know what they want – I’d love to help you. We’ll talk, but then you’ll be inspired to take action for yourself. And that’s my favorite part.


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